Merritt's Beauty Hydrangea
“Next in line. Can I help you ma’am?”
“Yes, I have a few hydrangeas I’d like to return.”
“That’s quite a cart full, ma’am.”
“Yeah, I’ll be back with the irises and daylilies later.”
“And the reason for return, ma’am?”
“Well, I’ve tried them in the driveway for a few years, and it turns out that I don’t like hydrangeas as much as I thought I did—especially pink ones. I really quite detest pink ones. So you can take back this Merritt’s Beauty and this Stella and this Sharona and this Pretty Maiden. And this Oregon Pride was supposed to be purple but it sure looks dark pink to me.”
“So reason for return: wrong color.”
“Well, the color of this White Moth is fine, but it’s way too big for me—definitely won’t fit in that spot under the dogwoods.”
“So reason for return: wrong size.”
“And I accidentally bought this Snow Queen thinking it was Snowflake. I swear, those oakleaf hydrangeas all look the same unless you count the sepals—and, really, who counts the sepals?”
“So reason for return: wrong variety.”
“And this Seemanii evergreen climber seemed like such a good idea, but it looks like plastic topiary.”
“So reason for return: customer changed mind … a lot. Do you have your receipt, ma’am?”
“No. But I remember exactly how much I paid. This Sargentii was on sale for $15 and I didn’t understand why no one had bought it, but now I do. It’s ugly.”
“Yes, ma’am, but you still need a receipt.”
“Well, I don’t have one. But see? That’s your nursery tag cutting into the wood there—exactly where you left it in 2004.”
“2004? Oh. I’m sorry, ma’am, but we have a 30-day return policy.”
“30 days? That’s hardly enough time for the cardboard box to disintegrate under the pots.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am. It’s our policy.”
“Well, I’m a bit dismayed. After all, I’m a very good customer.”
“Yes, ma’am. We love customers like you. Have a happy New Year now. Next in line.”
Return those beauties after only four years? You wouldn’t be related to the person that returned a truck load of bulk mulch to the shop where I work, would you? If the hydrangeas are still in their pots,duh, I just hope they “return” to life in the spring!
You’ve had a busy year,building your new path, making people laugh, smile and contemplate. Happy Next Year!
If I’d thought I could get away with returning the mulch, I would’ve.
That sales girl was a saint! And what nice manners she had! You just know your face from the security camera was printed and posted all over ‘behind’ the counter with a big “BEWARE” caption! LOL…Kelly! Btw, I LOVE Merritt’s Beauty…I’ll trade Niko Blue…which blooms any color but in my garden!
LOL. Forgot about security cameras. You’re right. I’ll bet they have me on the wanted list as favorite stupid money-burning customer. And with all of my hydras, I don’t have a Nikko, so maybe a trade is in order.