The Sorry Gardener

Because it will just cause you grief.

And if you do buy a flower taller than you, don’t plant it beside a tree.

Because that looks dumb.

And if you do buy a flower taller than you and plant it beside a tree, don’t lose the tag.

Because you’ll obsess over the mystery.

And if you do buy a flower taller than you and plant it beside a tree and lose the tag, don’t look through your archives for a photo.

Because you won’t have one.

And if you do buy a flower taller than you and plant it beside a tree and lose the tag and lack a photo in your archives, don’t Google “giant mystery flower” to find the name.

Because that’s not effective.

And if you do buy a flower taller than you and plant it beside a tree and lose the tag and lack a photo in your archives and ineffectively search the name, don’t fall off the ladder while you’re looking at the blooms.

Because that hurts.

And if you do buy a flower taller than you and plant it beside a tree and lose the tag and lack a photo in your archives and ineffectively search the name and fall off the ladder, don’t think you won’t sacrifice a couple of toilet flushes to water it during the record-breaking drought.

Because you will.

And if you do buy a flower taller than you and plant it beside a tree and lose the tag and lack a photo in your archives and ineffectively search the name and fall off the ladder and sacrifice a couple of toilet flushes, don’t feel disappointed when you realize it’s a 6FT coneflower.

Because you will.

And if you do buy a flower taller than you and plant it beside a tree and lose the tag and lack a photo in your archives and ineffectively search the name and fall off the ladder and sacrifice a couple of toilet flushes and feel disappointed that it’s a 6FT coneflower, don’t be surprised to stare up at it one day and think that you should buy another one.

Because you will.